I’m a planner. And in a future LfZ, I will probably post about the dark side of planning. I have been thinking about that a lot recently.
However, having just completed a plan 7 months in the making, I must take a moment and reflect on a plan well executed. Back in January, I despaired that we would never go back to the before times, as they are called.[1] It seemed that we would never have in person school again. In November, I started thinking about spending 2 months in Iceland[2] while working remotely. It ended up being too complicated and a bit more expensive than I had hoped.
As a Mom, I was watching my children attend classes remotely and they were becoming less and less engaged with the people on the other end of their computers. This was troubling. In the short days of January, I was longing for sunlight and for new connections. I was longing for my children to have something to tell me besides their latest find on YouTube. I wasn’t worried so much for Husband and I. We are old and will figure out how to interact with society again in our own way. But, for BigOne and LittleOne, I was becoming concerned they would not go back into the world and find their tribe.
Enter the internet.
I started asking to Google to find me a for a camp for them for summer. I had specifical goals to my plan.
- It needed to be overnight camp where they would have to make choices on things like bathing, eating, and sleeping without me having the ability to influence these choices[3].
- It needed to have activities that would interest them and engage them.
- It needed to not be a technology camp. They both needed time away from YouTube videos and endless streaming services.
- It needed to be in driving distance.
- It needed to be safe.
Summer Camps are big business. I worked at a summer camp between my Freshman and Sophomore years when I was 19. We had the campers for 8 weeks, and I kind of hated it. However, I also know spending a longer period of time at a camp gives you a chance to reset.
I found a camp I thought would fit.[4] I showed it to them, and we had several long discussions about it. They were not thrilled they would have to be there without their cellphones. At first it looked like they would be able to email, but that would be their only internet access.[5]
So I registered them. It basically took all our travel money for the year, but that was ok.[6] We talked about what it would be like and what they were looking forward to for 5 months.
First Part of the Well Executed Plan – Our family had something to talk about besides what we couldn’t do because of the pandemic.
One of the largest challenges was trying to provide everything on the camp’s packing list. It was also a source of many fun conversations. The laundry would be done while they were gone, since they were going for 4 weeks, but they needed two weeks’ worth of clothes.[7] They both needed watches.[8] The list was long, but one of the most enjoyable surprises was finding things on the list in their rooms. We had gotten them headlamps several years ago as stocking stuffers so – Flashlight? Check!
Second Part of the Well Executed Plan – A different kind of vacation.
I admit it. I like to take a vacation. I really like to travel to new places. I plan and plan and plan to be sure everyone has something to look forward to. I love going new places,[9] but this year, the family had less of a need for togetherness and more of a need to grow along our own paths. We still had fun driving up to the camp and on the drive home. We are going to fit in a trip back to Indiana, but sadly, there is no family beach trip this summer.
That is ok. This is what we needed as individuals and as a family.
Third Part of the Well Executed Plan – Focusing on peer relationships.
I first mean this about me, but I think it is true for everyone in the family. I got to spend a lot of time with Husband. We travelled together. We went to the beach together for a few nights.[10] We got to decide what we wanted to do, what we wanted to eat, when we wanted to eat, and how we wanted to spend our evenings.
The kids also had this opportunity. They each got to focus on their new friends without being told “get off discord!” or “Be nicer when you talk to your friends!” Basically, they got to build those friendships without me. In addition, the camp let the kids chose their activities and they could change their minds if something else exciting came along. They had to choose what to eat.[11] It was all on them.
That was a gift. It was also very important because of 16 months with Mom seeing and interacting with almost every part of their lives, meals, and hygiene habits. It was part of the plan, but I wasn’t sure it would work out that way.
Fourth part of the Well Executed Plan – They were glad they went and glad to come home.
We did not get to hug the kids goodbye when we dropped them off. That was hard. It was also hard to wait for a letter from them. We wrote once a week. But, we received 2 letters from BigOne and one letter from LittleOne.[12] I will treasure all three missives forever.
I was a little nervous before we picked them up that they both would have outgrown me. Would they miss us? Would they become vegetarians? Would they want to come home?
They wanted to come home. They didn’t want their cellphones until we had been traveling and talking for almost two hours.[13] They wanted to hug us.
Is the plan for them to return?
Maybe. I registered LittleOne for two weeks next summer.
BigOne will finish high school next June and does not want to apply to be a counselor. They enjoyed it, but they want to think about starting college not working at the camp.
A Well-Executed Plan does not mean you will do it again. It means you got what you wanted and you wanted what you got.[14] What will be the next plan? Stay tuned.
[1] Credit to Marketplace. Great American Public Media show that talks about the economy.
[2] They introduced a remote workers VISA we might have been able to do. I tried to make that happen, but that would be another story.
[3] I have a weakness for making them food they will eat. This limits their opportunities to try new foods, which they are both resistant to doing anyway. This also limits their need to figure out how to eat things they don’t find appetizing.
[5] That actually changed because of the pandemic. They took away regular access to email. It’s ok. I don’t think they would have emailed me anyway.
[6] I am not actually ready to get on a plane yet anyway.
[7] I had been doing laundry every 4 days during the pandemic and neither child HAD 14 pairs of underwear or 14 pairs of socks.
[8] For years they had used their phones to tell time. Who needed a wristwatch anymore?
[9] Especially if it involves taking Icelandair! (www.icelandair.com)
[10] Being at the beach with your love is different than being at the beach with your family. And I loved it.
[11] They could choose their food out of what was offered. They needed this wake-up call from the short-order cooking Mom and Dad provide. How many times have I made three totally different things for dinner? I don’t know. I didn’t count. Also, mostly I plan the meals and husband cooks.
[12] LittleOne’s letter was two sentences. He assured us he was trying new foods and practicing proper hygiene.
[13] I was amazed.
[14] As Hamilton told us.